chances are, low.

i don't know if i still have the chance or not.

but i know it's not stupid to wait.

as you waited for half a year before.

do you remember the new year's eve?

that time when i drove you back to Asia Jaya to grab your car and we chatted in the car for a while? we talked while waiting for them to come, and then as we gonna part. you pecked my on my cheeks. it's at that time, i start to give in, and tell myself, he's could be the one, and let you in.

i wondering how you sleep at night.

i miss your touch of your skin, the fingers and hand that hold mine tight.

the smell and everything about you.

i think i look so fine, but every night, i think of you before i go to bed, maybe sometime mumbles your name in my sleep, and dream lots of stuff.

i swear to god, the best night of my life is that day,

we watch stars together and the hug.

someone told me, dreams are good, signs of possibilities in the future.

i know he's saying it to make me feel better. As much as he telling me things are gonna be fine,

i can see it in his eyes, telling me, he's pretty sure i won't get the chance again.

i don't know what is fate, what is destiny.

but i do know, we fight for it. I know, and i see your efforts and sacrifices before.

it's hard to note what others done to you, but it's easy to note what we give.

therefore, i notice, things i do, or give is not enough.

i don't know what to think anymore.

someone slap me, tell me all this is a dream.

i remember one of your notes saying
"i love to dream because it's perfect, but i even love the reality now, because i have you, it's better than dreaming"

well, the reality now hurts too much.

i rather sleep and don't wake. eternally cycles in the dream..